Ultimate Reset from Beach Body, Uncategorized

The Ultimate Reset is D.O.N.E!!!! . . .

So, you guys, I DID IT! I DID IT! I completed the Ultimate Reset with absolutely NO cheats. No coffee, no wine, I followed the plan to a T. And GUESS WHAT?! It worked! Was it hard? HELL YES. Was it worth it? I can’t even begin to describe how worth it was!

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My first coffee in almost a month! It was DELICIOUS and I feel like I can fly to the moon!!!!

As most of you know, I’ve struggled with an eating disorder for a very, very long time. My entire life has always revolved around food – in a negative light. As a way to deal with my feelings, emotions and my life. When something was hard, I turned to food – but not consuming it – I would starve myself and punish myself for things going wrong in my life. I have never learned how to deal with life without using food as a crutch. As young as five, I was comparing myself to others, wondering why they were happy and I wasn’t. Obviously at five, it wasn’t about weight loss, but it was about control. And at five, my parents were none the wiser because it was “typical” for a kid to be “picky” with their food. So, it became a habit of mine to refuse food as a way of comfort and control over something in my life.

Being in and out of treatment centers and hospitals during my childhood, teen years and young adult life really took away so many years of my life. I have so many regrets. A main regret in my life is not getting my act together before my father died. I look back and think about all of the months and years I was away from my dad because of my eating disorder. I’ll never get those years or months back. I left AMA from my last treatment center because my dad was diagnosed with cancer. We didn’t know what was wrong with him for over a year, and a week after I got home from Avalon Hills, he got his diagnosis. Two days after that, a very, very dear friend of mine passed away at 17. It was a very, very hard home-coming. I resorted back to my eating disorder to deal with the pain, anxiety and overwhelming emotions that came with all of this news so suddenly. My daddy, the strongest man I had ever known, had cancer. A rare type of cancer. He fought for so long and never gave up. He was my rock. I’m not a very emotional person, and I don’t open up to people hardly ever, but this man was someone I could talk to and not feel judged. I felt nothing but love and acceptance, and in the blink of an eye, he was gone. He never got to meet my first daughter, Ryleigh, because he passed away exactly a month before she was born. He got to spend 15 months with my first born, Daniel, and made so many wonderful memories. He never got to meet my last daughter, Khloe. My kids will never have their kick-ass, metal music loving, head-banging grandpa. My husband will never get to meet the man that taught me how true love should feel. I keep him in my daily life by talking about him, by bringing him up when an Iron Maiden song comes on, by teaching my youngest how to head-bang (just like my daddy did when I was a little girl – he never wanted me to cut my hair, so I could head-bang for him, because he never could grow out his 80’s hair metal long hair like he always wanted t0). It’s been a little over eight years since my dad died. You’re not supposed to bury your parent when you’re 20 years old. I had so much left to show him. I had so many things to tell him. I had grandbabies for him to love on and see how good of a mom I am. I’m not religious or spiritual at all, but I know he’s around. Little things like looking at a clock and seeing ‘8:08’ (he passed on 8/8/08 – I was born on 2/28/88 at 8:58; 8 is kind of my number), or thinking of him and when I turn the car on, “Run To the Hills” is already playing, I always say, “hey dad, love you too.”
I’m explaining this, because during the Ultimate Reset, it taught me a lot. It taught me that I spent so many years of my life trying to “make up” for everything I did in my past. That may sound crazy to some, but it makes sense to me. During the UR, it’s not just a detox from harmful toxins and chemicals that are in our drinking water, in our food choices, etc. It’s also a detox from hurtful emotions, learning about how your body really works, choosing to make good eating decisions, and not giving up on yourself. There were times where I just wanted a damn cup of coffee. Or a yummy piece of Double Bubble bubblegum. OR A PIECE OF STEAK. But I refrained, because I wanted to let myself know that I am strong enough. I have the will-power to choose not to put unhealthy things in my body. But it’s a DIFFERENT will-power than before with anorexia. THAT’S the biggest change. I have will-power, but it’s not being used NEGATIVELY. I’m not depriving myself of healthy food. I’m not looking at an apple the same way as a candy bar. And that. is. HUGE. for me. I made a promise to my dad when he was in the hospital for the last time, when they told us she had maybe 3 months to live (he made it 6 weeks). I went to visit him and we talked for hours. I was pregnant with Ryleigh at the time, and he told me, “Kris, I wish you could see how beautiful you really are. You’re the most beautiful woman I know. I wish you saw the value in yourself.” I have never seen my father cry. He told me once, when I was at my first residential treatment center  (Renfrew), that after he and my mom dropped me off there, he went in the shower, sat down and cried because he felt so powerless. He couldn’t help his little girl. I promised him right then and there, that I would try my hardest to learn to love myself and be proud of myself. I promised him I’d find a way to love myself and take care of myself. Having that alone time with him, that one on one time, despite being in the hospital, was something that needed to happen in my life. It was like my good-bye to him. He passed away 4 days after my parents 24th wedding anniversary, after re-proposing to my mom (to a sweet Judas Priest song – just like my dad to bring include a kick-ass band) at the beach for our last family vacation ever. He passed away 8 hours away from me. I remember my mom calling me and telling me he was gone. I was sitting on my couch, holding my son, pregnant with my daughter, and my mom calls me and tells me he passed away. The feeling I felt right then, it never goes away. People say time heals things, that’s a load of crap. No amount of positive thinking will fix how I feel about my dad’s death. My dad was one of the best men on this Earth. He’d give you the shirt off his back regardless of knowing you or not. He was an amazing family man, that cooked and cleaned and took care of my brother and me. He worked 12-14 hours a day, never complaining. Hell, his job had to tell him to STAY HOME when he was going through chemo because he wanted to work, because he was worried about medical bills. He didn’t want my mom, brother and I to suffer. I feel like he held on so long for us. The type of cancer he had, wiped out his RBC, WBC, platelets, everything. He was running on virtually nothing, yet, he was still getting up, welcoming the day and getting things done. That’s just who he was. Always on the go. And I’m proud to say that I have that amazing quality of his; always on the go, getting shit done.

The Ultimate Reset has been an amazing, amazing journey. A lot of people kept telling me how much self-control I had to stay away from certain foods, to follow a strict diet, meal plan and prep, etc. I’ve been following a pretty strict regemin since September, so it was easy for me to just look at it that way. And, it was only for 3 weeks. I made it through going to friends houses for parties, going out to eat, etc. I believed in myself that I could do this program, and it worked. IT WORKED.

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My LAST day (yesterday) of the Ultimate Reset! 

I didn’t start this program to lose weight – because losing a massive amount of weight in a short amount of time isn’t effective. It just isn’t. Losing weight is part of the process though, because you are detoxing from so many different things. You slowly take out meat, dairy and grains from your diet – three of the most irritating ingredients for your GI tract. Then, over 3 weeks, you slowly re-introduce those food items to your diet, and figure out (if) which foods you should avoid or consume less of. I wanted to do this program so I could get out of a plauteu and jump-start the next program I am going to do – 21 Day Fix EXTREME! I had finished CDF about a week before doing the Ultimate Reset, and that program took A LOT out of me. It was a TOUGH, although very rewarding, program. I knew my body needed a break and with the Ultimate Reset, doing strenuous exercising isn’t ‘allowed’, so I have been doing the 3 week yoga retreat. It was the perfect time to do this.

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I weigh myself more than I probably should, and that is something that I continue to work on.

One of the toughest things for me during the UR was not being able to taste food I’ve cooked or baked for my family and other people. I hate not knowing what my food tastes like before I serve it to people. So, I had to constantly remind myself not to lick the spoon (or my fingers, lol) while making food. Another big thing was gum. I LOVE GUM (I think I’ve mentioned this a few times, hah) and I have two huge tubs, plus two big bags, next to my bed. Those sat there the ENTIRE three weeks and I didn’t even have ONE. Hell, yesterday Khloe fell asleep in the Tula while I walked to get the kiddos from school, and she never naps, so I decided to take the kids to Dunkin’ to get a donut so she could nap a little more. The guy at the counter asked if I wanted my regular coffee, and I say, “no, not today” and he looks at me like I have 4 heads. It was so easy to just say no, instead of giving in. Some people on the UR cheat and have coffee, or have a cheat meal and I just couldn’t do it. I spent a lot of money on a program that I intended to finish and not cave and give into things that I KNOW will be there AFTER the program. But, I did have a small coffee today! I rewarded myself for not caving.

I plan on following the meal plan I have been on for the next 3 weeks, with a few added things like lean meats and some grains. I think I will leave dairy out for quite a bit longer. I plan on finishing the 3 week yoga retreat (I have 6 days left of that) and then diving into the 21 DFX.

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The top three across are on January 11th, when I started. The second three across are from January 18th and the third row across are from today, on day 22. 

So, now, here are my results. I lost a total of 12.2 pounds and 22.5″ all over (10″ of that was just in my hips, waist and chest alone). And I GAINED self-confidence. I’m at a place now where I don’t feel like I need to lose weight. I need to tone up and embrace the shape that I have now. I’m not focused on the number anymore, and I plan (okay, I hope, because this is hard and always has been for me) on having the scale be put away from today until March 1st. I want to focus on how I FEEL and how my clothes FIT. Not so much the number on the scale. I’m at a healthy BMI for my height and weight. I need to focus on those aspects and not the number. I AM HEALTHY. And I did it the RIGHT WAY.

If you’re thinking about doing the Ultimate Reset, or really, any Beachbody program, whether that be the 21 Day Fix, PiYo, yoga, Core De Force, or you just want to be healthier, you want to commit to something bigger than yourself – DO IT. No one says “damn, I wish I never had worked out” after completing a work out. You should be proud of yourself that you want to commit to something – and do something for yourself. You should be proud for putting yourself first. So many of us put everyone before ourselves, and we tend to get lost in life picking up after everyone. YOU deserve happiness. YOU deserve to feel good about yourself. And YOU most DEFINITELY deserve to LOVE yourself. Dude, if I can do this, YOU CAN, TOO. It’s not easy, but nothing in life is easy that is worth it. As cliche as that sounds – it’s completely true.

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The top three across are from September 6, 2016, when I started my journey with Beachbody and Shakeology. The bottom three across are from today, February 1st. Almost 5 months to the day. This is from doing 3 rounds of the 21 Day Fix, 1 round of Core De Force, and the Ultimate Reset.

It’s hard to post these photos. I still have a ways to go to get more toned and more muscle, but I am putting these photos out here because they are REAL. They are ME. REAL results from REAL people doing things the HEALTHY way. I’m PROUD of how far I have come in such a short amount of time. I’ve been inspiring people to take charge of their health and learn to love themselves. THAT is why I became a coach. My whole life, I’ve been the one friend anyone could come to and talk to, and not feel judged. I’ve done way too much in my life to judge anyone. If I can help people to get motivated and STAY motivated, that’s a win for me. If I can help people love themselves and be PROUD of themselves, that’s a win.

My mind-set has changed ten-fold since starting the Ultimate Reset. People said that there would be raw emotions that just pop up out of no where and you kinda just have to embrace them. Well, today’s one of those days. And it feels damn good to be able to share with people my struggles, my successes, my failures and my progress.

I’m wearing jeans today I haven’t worn in over 6 years AND I feel comfortable in them! It’s an amazing feeling. I look in the mirror and see some definition. I look in the mirror, and most importantly, I’m learning to love what I see, every single day. That’s my motivation. That’s my self-control. There’s nothing magical about it – I’m striving to keep that promise to my daddy – to learn to love myself, do things in moderation, and never lose my sense of self-worth.

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Recipes

Broccoli and Cheese Soup WITH CHICKEN – 21 Day Fix Style!

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All of the yummy veggies that make up the broccoli and cheese soup!!!!!

YOU GUYS!!!!! I am a broccoli and cheese FIEND. I LOVE broccoli and cheese soup. I’ve always loved it. It’s my favorite aside from homemade tomato soup (with a grilled cheese, of course!!). Living in South Florida, it’s pretty rare that the day really ever “calls” for soup. Or chili. Or pretty much anything that is fall because our 4 seasons are hot, hotter, hot-as-eff and oh, this is a nice 83 degrees. But, TODAY, I said screw it. Taco Tuesday? Nah, Broccoli and Cheese Tuesday! (Although, I did make tacos and taco pizza for the taco lovers of my family – and the not so much soup lovers of my family – which is like all of them!)

I want to preface this entry with the fact that soup has always been a “fear food” of mine. If you don’t know what that means (and most people that have never had an eating disorder or know someone with one), it simply means I’ve got a fear of eating (or drinking) that particular food. Not like something terrible will happen to me (or my loved ones – like if I don’t make my bed or if someone messes my freshly made bed up (KENNETH!)), but, I get crazy anxiety about the particular food and it is EXTREMELY hard for me to resist the compulsion to purge whatever it is I ate. Even though I am recovered (and have been in recovery for a little over 14 years), that doesn’t mean the thoughts and fears don’t creep up on you every now and again.

I am SO FRIGGIN’ GLAD I was able to find this recipe. One of the main reasons soups (and chilis and basically any comfort food) are such a huge trigger for me is because it leaves me feeling full – it gives me that uncomfortable, anxiety-ridden fear that you can legit see pounds just growing on you. Yes, I realize that sounds crazy, but, a fear is a fear, right? I felt like I had to get rid of it right then, because if not, my stomach would explode and I would gain at least 15 pounds. I felt like a failure because I couldn’t just control my urge to indulge in something I had eaten a million times before that. I’m glad I found this recipe because it’s a HEALTHY version of one of my favorite recipes! I don’t have that horrible anxiety-ridden fear that “a moment on the lips – forever on the hips” will actually come true. It won’t. I don’t feel guilty that I’m eating this delicious soup – yup – as I type this blog entry. I’m focused on letting y’all know a hearty, yummy recipe instead of rushing to the bathroom to get rid of it. That’s a pretty big win in my opinion – the best win of the day (and it’s Election day today).

One of the best things about this recipe (in my opinion) is that it’s so creamy and delicious, if you’re not able to have dairy for whatever reason, you can omit the cheddar cheese and you DON’T have to omit any of the rich creaminess! This recipe doesn’t come chalk-full of heavy cream, half and half, milk, etc. BUT, it does come with all of the creamy texture dairy has to offer! So, if you’re looking for a yummy creamy recipe that doesn’t make you feel sluggish and gross, here’s the recipe for you!!! I also added a secret ingredient: I made my famous grilled orange chicken and shredded it and put it on top for added protein and because, well, YUM!!

Broccoli and Cheese Soup – 21 Day Fix Approved!! 

INGREDIENTS:

~2 tsp butter (I used 2 tsp EVOO because I didn’t have any dairy free butter)
~1 medium onion, chopped (I used purple – probably called for yellow, but whatevs)
~1 cup chopped carrots (I used quite a few baby carrots and chopped them up – they’re going to be pureed anyway, so it doesn’t really matter)
~4 cups low sodium chicken broth (a 32oz box if you don’t make your own chicken broth)
~4 cups chopped broccoli
~2 cups chopped cauliflower
~1/2 tsp salt and pepper (to taste)
~2 cups broccoli (chopped into pretty tiny little pieces, these are going to be the ones that are chillin’ in the soup, not pureed to make the base, so use your judgement on how you like your broccoli in your soup!)
~1 1/3 cups shredded sharp or extra sharp cheddar cheese (HONESTLY, I tried this before putting cheese in it and it was creamy and delicious without the cheese – so if your dietary rules omit dairy – you don’t need to add it to make a delicious soup! OR you can use dairy-free shredded cheese)

DIRECTIONS:

~In a big pot, melt the butter (or heat up EVOO if that’s what you’re using) over medium heat. Then, add your carrots and onion. Cook and stir the mixture occasionally. It’s going to be getting cooked again (and eventually pureed, so, no worries on if they’re not super soft after cooking for a few minutes)
~Next, add the chopped broccoli (leaving those two cups of broccoli that’s cut smaller on the side), the cauliflower, tsp of salt and the chicken broth into the pot. Cover and let it simmer. I let it simmer for probably a good 30-35 minutes before the veggies were soft enough. You want to be able to mash the veggies on the side of the pot with your spoon with ease – you’re golden once that happens.
~While the veggies and broth are cooking, I microwaved the smaller chopped up broccoli (I also saved a little cauliflower and used it as well) with about two tablespoons of water for 5 minutes to soften it a bit. The texture was perfect.

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Pureed veggies that make the yummy soup! Like I said previously, not adding any cheese at all, like this, is simply awesome!!!

~Once all of the veggies (in the broth) are super soft and mushy, transfer the mixture into a blender (or food processor) in batches and puree until the consistency is what you like for your soup. Surprisingly, it’s super thick and creamy! Once it’s pureed, return it to the originally pot. Stir in the cheddar cheese (if you’re using it) and the bowl of smaller chopped up broccoli. Put some pepper in it to taste, and you’re all done!!!

21 DAY FIX containers: 1B | 1/4R | 1 1/2G | 1/2 TSP ***if you add the shredded chicken it’s 1/2R and shredded cheese it’s 1 1/4B***

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My results! I put my shredded orange chicken, sliced fresh cold tomatoes and a bit of cilantro! YUM!!!!

Drop a pic below of your soup or leave a note saying if you changed up anything, added anything, whatever. I’m always down for learning and trying something new!!

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Uncategorized

7 WEEKS doing the 21 Day Fix

So, y’all, it’s been SEVEN weeks since I started doing the 21 Day Fix. I *never* thought I’d get to where I am now. I am getting back into amazing shape, the RIGHT way. My husband and I were fortunate enough to be able to get out of the house last Friday. A get-away to a hotel, sans kids! First time we’ve been alone since May, first time we’ve been in a hotel room since my birthday in February of 2015! I bring this up because . . . my husband can’t keep telling me how proud of me he is. I’ve never had a partner that actually loves and supports me and is my constant cheerleader throughout this entire lifestyle change. He’s proud of me because I am doing this the right way. I am eating healthy (three MEALS a day PLUS two snacks!), I am exercising in a non-obsessive form (my awesome walks and 21 day fix program!) and I am gaining something I don’t typically have – confidence. For the first time EVER in my entire life, I am starting to like what I see in the mirror. Granted, I am A LOT heavier than I was before I had my kids almost 10 years ago, I definitely didn’t have any stretch marks ANYWHERE on my body before kids (and now they are EVERYWHERE), but you know what? That’s okay. I am STRONGER than I ever have been – both mentally and physically. Mentally, I still fight the eating disordered thoughts, but they are so few and far between anymore because I’m ‘fixing’ my brain to eat like a ‘normal’ person (well, what’s normal for me anyway!) I wake up well rested (well, you know, when the toddler isn’t being a monster and keeping me up all hours of the night). I wake up feeling like I can conquer anything that life throws at me. For example, this morning, my toddler kept me up from 3 until 6am today. She did the same thing Thursday night as well. And Wednesday. And Tuesday. And, well, you get the picture. I could choose to let it ruin my day (and, in the moment, it feels like the day is completely ruined). I could choose to take the older kids to school, come back home and sleep while she sleeps, but, I didn’t. I chose to get up, get my day started and walked over 5 miles (with coffee in hand!). It was beautiful outside and the weather has been amazing in South Florida lately, so I took the opportunity.

I love the community I’ve been fortunate enough to hang out with lately that is part of  BeachBody. The group I am a part of on Facebook is awesome; I’ve got support, motivation, awesome new recipes, and FRIENDS there. Everyone has their own journey and story, and I love learning about other people’s struggles and successes. That’s what this lifestyle change is all about. Conquering your own struggles and telling about your amazing successes.

And, here is a progression photo. The top three photos are from September 6, 2016 (I posted them once before with a 3 week transformation on the bottom earlier in my blog) and the bottom three photos are from today, SEVEN WEEKS later! Going through this journey has been crazy, and this is just the beginning! I’ll say it again like I said previously, I cannot believe I am actually posting these photos. I am super self-conscious of my body, especially after having children. My stomach has taken a huge beating, having had preeclampsia with two of my three children (who were born 16 months apart), needing to gain weight because I was still active in my ED when I conceived Daniel and because I retained SO MUCH water with their pregnancies. I have to face the fact that my body will NEVER be the same after I had my children – it just won’t. I won’t be able to fit into my size 00’s (even though I’ve still got them in a tote in my closet – hoarder, anyone?), but that’s OKAY. I’m not going to sit here and say because I’ve lost over SEVENTEEN pounds! and many inches off my waist, bust and hips I’m magically the most confident person in the world and I don’t care about my stretch marks – nope, I still care, they still remind me sometimes of what my skin once looked like and how I envy that, BUT, I am PROUD that I’ve made healthy changes. I’m proud that I can look in the mirror and not cry. I am proud I can tell my husband or my best friend that I’m losing weight in the right way and toning correctly without feeling like I’m being scrutinized. And, having those feelings means more to me than no stretch marks. img_2215

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Uncategorized

Hi!! My name is Kristina, with a ‘K’. I have been wanting to do a blog for some time now, to incorporate my recipes (both made from me and recipes I find that actually are tasty AND healthy!), talk about the things I am passionate about, and to connect with other like-minded people. I always said that I didn’t have time, no one would be interested, yadda yadda. However, many people have reached out to me and asked me to do a blog for my recipes. It wasn’t until recently, that a good friend of mine somewhat pushed me and made me realize, I could be doing something good with everything I post on social media. I could be encouraging young moms. I could be encouraging those that don’t think it’s worth it to become healthy. Most importantly, I am encouraging myself to break out of my bubble and do something productive.

I have three pretty awesome kiddos. Daniel, who is currently nine and seriously, one of the smartest kids I know. He has high functioning autism, ADHD, and sensory processing disorder. He saved my life and I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it. My middle daughter, Ryleigh, is eight years old. She’s the sweetest little girl you could ever get the chance to meet, and she is a wonderful kid. She’s the peace in our family. My youngest daughter is Khloe, and she will be two in October. She’s our little firecracker. A sour patch kid, if you will. She’s sweet one minute, and will turn on you in a second. She’s the perfect piece to our family puzzle.

I am married to an incredible man that thankfully is able to provide for our family, so I am able to do exactly what I’ve always wanted to do: be a stay at home mother to my wonderful kids, make sure my husband is being taken care of, cook healthy homemade meals for my family and make sure our home is a happy, healthy, clean home. I’ve been a working mother before, and, I’ve come to the conclusion that while my kiddos are young, I want to be there for them, no matter the sacrifices we’ve got to make to make sure everything is taken care of. That’s not to say my working mom friends aren’t doing something right; it means we are all different, and that’s okay.

I live in south Florida, and always knew I wanted to be back down here. It just so happened my husband happened to live down here, and the rest is history. I love our life together, and everything that I have accomplished so far. I’ve struggled so much over the past 28 years that I’ve been on this Earth, with anorexia, a horrible marriage that ended in divorce, death of my best friend (my father), anxiety, depression, on and on . . . and by doing this blog, I hope that I can reach out to anyone that wants to listen, and make a change in their life. No matter how small, it will be a victory in my eyes.

I have begun a journey to get healthy. Healthy in mind and body. Slowly, taking it day by day, I will accomplish what I want to accomplish. I am sure of it. I want others to know that it’s okay to struggle, that it’s okay to wake up and feel hopeless. What we need to focus on is changing the negativity and making something positive out of every situation, no matter how small.

Introduction . . .

Aside